Livin Easy in the Projects

As per request from my dear friend Brindi, I am back to blogging. I promise I will try to be better from now on. Life has been a tad rocky the past month because of a super last minute move. We now inhabit an apartment that has new carpet, paint, and fixtures thanks so the drug addict that ruined them all when he lived there. Thanks Meth, crack, pixie dust, chronic, Mary J, whatever he was on when he lived there. That is the first sign, well second sign, I received that we may be living somewhere slightly ghetto. (Of course not full blown ghetto because we are still in Utah...). The first sign was the guy (our new neighbor) who fed us the information of this past apartment dweller. He is the nicest guy, but is covered in tattoos (like on his scalp and face) and drinks out by his Caddy that has 2 10" subs in the trunk that shake our windows, nightly. He brings the party to the parking lot.

Speaking of which, when we first moved in our neighbor's brother in law and his "rough looking" friends offered 3 times to help us move boxes up to our apartment. I love when you get taught a lesson of not judging a book by its cover. When we moved out of our last house, the truck was in our driveway for 6 hours and not one of our "super nice", rich, christian neighbors offered help. Nadda, nothing, zilch. (With that said - note to everyone reading this, PLEASE call us if you are moving and need help. We would love to help! I am a pro at moving now and you can work me like a dog.) Then we show up to our new place and had that truck unloaded in 30 minutes. It was a beautiful thing. So to show our thanks we bought them a 30 pack of their favorite beer and brought it to their parking lot party the next night. Watching Micah try to do the brother handshake/hug in one sweep was hilarious. He does not have one ghetto bone in his body. Me on the other hand, has a nick name of Jenaynay, theme song is Sir Mix A Lot's "I Like Big Butts" and has been referred to an inside out oreo before.

So I have NEVER bought alcohol in my life and it was kind of a exhilarating experience! I looked so naughty! And I was shocked to find out that beer is cheaper than water. Which I am sure is a sign that the beer was cheap. But that's what they requested so they got 50 cent beers. I've also never seen people get so excited to be given a gift, I'm glad they enjoyed the gesture even though they may have been confused as to why we were not drinking it with them.

So all the boxes were unpacked and everything was put away within a week. I do good work. I will have to take some pictures of it, I feel I did a great job making it cute with the limited space we have. So after being settled other things began to manifest themselves that solidified the fact that we live in the semi-projects. I will list them for you.

#1 - No surface is flat. They tried to make the counter tops flat by shoving a wood block in between the counter top and frame - so there is a nice 1/2" gap at the end. Nice work. I also discovered a slump in the kitchen floor, like a few bowling balls were dropped there. Also no matter where you are in the house, anything remotely round will not stay still; it rolls wherever the floor is going. One good thing I guess is if we ever have a flood the water will probably rush to the corner of a room and drain down to the lucky people below.

#2 - There is a thermostat, but no AC. That was the best trick ever! So people come and look, they see the thermostat and say, "Score AC!" then move in and realize there is only a swamp cooler and the thermostat is a glorified thermometer. At least now we know when it's over 100 degrees in the apartment. And yes, that has happened, twice.

#3 - There are no screens in any of the windows. So when our apartment was 100 degrees I got to let all the bugs in in order to cool it down. Super awesome.

#4 - We have a pool (which is really nice when it's 100 degrees) and a "resort style hot tub". Have fun with that one.

#5 - I got followed to my apartment by two twin girls who WOULD not stop asking me questions all the way til I closed my apartment door on them. May sound cute? No. Not when they do it every other day and keep asking you the same questions. Where is their mother?

#6 - Frequently cigarette smoke smell wafts into corners of the apartment. Just like, by the fridge and in the bathroom. I don't know where it comes from or how it gets there.

#7 - There are multiple camera's in the parking lot. Which I am very grateful for.

#8 - I can walk to Wal-Mart in 30 seconds.

#9 - Because we are so close to Wal-Mart our complex's parking lot is a secondary shopping cart holder. They accumulate over time too. I just wonder why the people who walk them home don't just take the same one back next time. Is it really necessary to get a new one every time and deposit it back into our parking lot? At least there are some shopping carts handy is I ever need one.

#10 - There is a car on jacks with no wheels, windows, or a windshield. I hope they get that replaced before it rains.

Update: The car is gone now, but I have a new #10.

#10 - I came home yesterday and Micah told me in the middle of the night he saw a small red laser beam coming into our apartment through a hole above the light fixture that is above our sink. We don't know why there is a hole there or what is Heaven's name was looking into our apartment, but we stuck sticky tack in it. Hope that keeps the alien's out.

I'm sure there are more, but those are my favorite. Living here keeps me plenty entertained and we are happy, it's functional, and somewhat cute, the people we have met are very nice and all in all, we love our semi-projects home.