The Invisible Stall Mate

OK, I know this is my third post today. I wish I didn't have weird outbursts of thoughts timed perfectly with boring ruts at work, but I do - so deal with it. I just start writing and then everything that happens to me makes me think. This just happened a few hours ago when I went to take a tinkle.

Why do women (I can't say men cause I've never tinkled in a men's bathroom) pretend no one else is in the ladies room with them? First of all, it's old school to think women don't fart - or poop for that matter. Secondly, the acoustics in a bathroom are phenomenal, so the noises that are made in there are multiplied by 80 million in an effort to remind us that no one is perfect. I believe they were designed that way to humble us. No one's shit doesn't stink 100% of the time, so stop being all high and mighty. Thirdly, it makes it MORE awkward when you pretend no one is sitting right next to you listening to all the sound and fury, when they obviously are.

I have taken up a hobby of studying people's footwear/toes to see if I can identify my poop buddy whilst chilling on the toilet. Too bad I started a new position and moved buildings and had to start all over - I was getting pretty good. Because the best thing to break the awkwardness (for me) is to actually talk to whoever is in there! *GASP* But it seems like if it's someone you don't know well, they get embarrassed and shuffle out real quick. So like usual, I have to try to think before I blurt something out that could embarrass someone else. Remember Jen, just because you don't get embarrassed and think that awkward situations are funny, 95% of the world does not, and so forcing my weirdness on them is not fair. Like today, I went to tinkle and my stall buddy sneezed. It took everything in me to not say "Bless You!" cause what if we came out at the same time and she was all embarrassed because I recognized she was next to me tinkling too.

I am very curious as to why this phenomenon began and why it hasn't been remedied since the book "Everyone Poops" was published. I thought that pretty much took care of everything right there.