I am a double standard

I am a proud rule breaker. I am a proud rule breaker of stupid rules. And yes, they definitely exist.

I think the fact that I-15 is 65 mph is ridiculous. I think all freeways that have more then 3 lanes should be at least 75 mph. So - that's how fast I drive. OK, I drive about 80, but that's what I would do if the speed limit was 75; it all makes perfect sense.

I think the fact that you can't walk on GRASS in certain areas of my alma mater is asinine. It's grass! Do people understand that grass is a WEED that we have immortalized into some sort of god that we worship by watering and trimming obsessively? Grass was made to be walked on and laid in. Whenever I see those signs I'm like the north pole of a magnet drawn to the south pole; I have no control. The cosmos force me. I crave to immediately stomp all over it, smother it, lay down and roll all over it. Kind of like the impulse I ALWAYS have when I'm in a elevator all by myself to push all the buttons upon my departure of the elevator. Why oh WHY is it so funny? Yes, I think I am still 7 years old. I also adore blowing bubbles and puppies and kittens and headbands. So sue me.

But there are rules I think aren't stupid like, drunk driving. Come on now, seriously? I think everyone should have Breathalyzers in their car that are required for engine turn over. However, they are not required and I'm sure the offenders of this rule feel the same way I do about the rules I like to break. Granted killing someone in a car wreck and deadening some grass are obviously quite different consequences, but still. It makes you think.

What about us crazy affection needing mammals makes us want to incessantly break rules? Why do I feel soooooo good defying that sign that says please stay off the grass? Is it because I feel like I am better than the person who decided these signs were a good idea and necessary? Is it because I feel like my opinions and knowledge matter more then theirs?

Yes. And to quote my new friend Lindsay "Life would be a lot easier if everyone would just think like me."