I.Hate.COLD

I just told off Old Geezer Winter. I told him how much I despise him, then I spit on him, then I banished him to the Virgin Islands to either a) learn to appreciate the magnificent beauty of warmth or b) die from heat exhaustion. I figure Mr. Geezer Winter may not last in the heat - like he'd melt into a puddle of goo just like the guy in Roger Rabbit when they throw the cartoon killing shit on him.

I hate the cold for so many reasons.

1. Everything is ugly.
2. I have to wear 18 layers and somehow my toes are still cold.
3. The things you can enjoy in the snow cost money, which is something I know nothing about at the moment.
4. I'm cold. ALL.THE.TIME.
5. I break our circuits at work from running my heater every second I'm at work.
6. Getting goose bumps makes my freshly shaved arms/legs grow hair like chickens on hormones.
7. It lasts way too long. I wish winter was 2 weeks then we moved onto spring. Why do the worst seasons last the longest?
8. The cold make me pee more. It's an evil, evil way to piss me off considering I now have 17 more layers on than usual and I almost.ALMOST every time pee my pants by the time I'm undressed. Again, I hate you Mr. Winter.

However, Mrs. Sexy Sunshine is helping a bit considering we have effed over the sky by punching holes in the atmosphere with our hummers and plethora of aerosol hair spray (thanks Utah for never leaving the 80s) and over abundance of farting cows. Now Mrs. Sexy Sunshine can shine longer and harder and is taking the edge off of winter. But only til now. She's only been able to battle the grumpy old coot for this long. He has now won and I now have to endure my bones shivering and scraping ice off my windshields for what feels like FOREVER.