Very Serious Things To Sit Up At Night And Contemplate: Would I Stay With A Complete Assholecheaterdouchecanoe for $60,000,000 for ONE Year?

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So I assume everyone has heard about Tiger Wood's smooth move - well multiple apparently. If I have heard about it and I don't watch TV, read ragmags, or any celebrity gossip websites and I STILL know about it, I figure the whole world does.

If you don't here's the Jenny's abridged version: Tiger Woods hottie tottie wife, Elin Nordegren, (seriously, take a look) -->

finds out Tiger has cheated on her. He's backing out of the driveway and down the neighborhood road when WHAMMMO! Tiger's crazedbitchwife (rightly so) smashes the windows of his car with his favorite golf club (way to make the pain personal Elin; I approve of your tactics), distracts him (wouldn't you be?) and then Tiger proceeds to back into a fire hydrant. Surprisingly, when I first heard the story all I heard was that Tiger was in an accident. Come to find out he was in a lot deeper shit than that. And it gets better, well worse really.

As of yesterday I had heard that so far, like, 9 other women have come forward to be Tiger's mistresses, 3 of whom are porn stars. Wow, way to be classy Tiger.

Then Tiger publicly apologizes and says he's a huge wanger; wine, wine, blah blah blah, and then on the DL offers his wife 60 MILLION DOLLARS to stay with him for a year. I don't think that was supposed to leak out.

This now calls for some SERIOUS contemplation. So let’s list out the pros and cons of this deal.

PROS OF STAYING WITH TIGER FOR A YEAR FOR $60,000,000:

• $60,000,000 + divorce settlement.

• Never working again IN.YOUR.ENTIRE.LIFE.

• SIXTY MILLION DOLLARS.

• That's $5,000,000/month, $1,153,846/week, $164,835/day, $6,868/hr and $114.50/minute. You can taste that kind of cash.

• Proving to yourself you are a great actress as you pretend to still like your ass-face husband.

CONS OF STAYING WITH TIGER FOR A YEAR FOR $60,000,000:

• Still getting a truck load of money for the divorce and never having to look at him in the face again.

• Being able to pour more salt into his wounds; by wounds I mean his hurt image. Frankly I'm glad we all know he's a big smiling phony.

• Having to fake liking him when you have to make a public appearance with him when in reality all you want to do is cause him intense pain. Like filleting his man parts and feeding them to sharks as you poor acid on his wounds.

• Looking like the most worked over woman EVER.

• Looking weak and taking money over happiness.

I'm sure as I contemplate and meditate about this I will come up with more. Please, add your ideas and take this issue seriously. It may just happen to you one day.