I Robbed A Girl Of Her Virginity

I recently re-connected with a friend from my short stint in Boston (junior year of high school) on Facebook. Gotta love FB right? She's a quirky and energetic Egyptian girl who came from an ultra conservative family. Sad to say I have no clue what religion they practiced, I'm thinking she was Muslim? Pretty sure. Wow I sound so ignorant right now - it's embarrassing.

Anyhow - for her 17th birthday she had a party and somehow when a bunch of girls get together for longer than an hour, periods come up. ALWAYS. How conversations come to that point is beyond me, perhaps it's an instantaneous bonding topic as we all loathe the idea of menstruating, but nonetheless, it happened.

So somehow we figured out that she had never used a tampon before. Which is a damn.crying.shame. So we all felt inclined to make her try it out, well it was probably more like I felt inclined, and I'm so obnoxious and loud and crazy that everyone else felt the need to jump on the jennyeffingcrazybandwagon. She went into the bathroom alone and the rest of us crowded around the door like (insert dreamy teen idol around the summer of 2001, perhaps Heath Ledger or Freddie Prinze Jr. - oh gosh I think I just threw up in my mouth a little) was in there and we were trying to listen to him breathing. I swear she was in there for an hour or more, but perhaps my 17 year old mind lied to me and I am remembering incorrectly. Eventually everyone got tired of listening to Freddie Prinze's quiet breathing but I was the one who never gave up! I would hear Freddie fart and I would win!

So I stood outside that door explaining the mechanics over and over again (which seems so ridiculous now; I had problems when I first wore a tampon, like when I was 11, and it seems so foolish considering it's so "natural" - oh gosh, it SHOULDN'T be natural - now). I think she may have even cried a bit and that may have been when I thought to myself "maybe this is a mistake". Oh how THAT was the understatement of the century!

The next day at school she informed me her mom now hated me because I helped take her virginity away. Ooops! Sorry momma N! Note to self: don't force people to stick wads of cotton up their who-haaas, it may piss off their mothers.